Thursday, July 28, 2011

I'm relevant!

A month ago I ran, and finished, my first half marathon. I raised over $300 for cancer research in honor of my father who has battled Melanoma this past year. I crossed the finish line in 2 and a half hours. I didn't walk one step of the race. I have not written about it or blogged about it since. Why??

Hmmm, not totally sure, but I started to think about it this week after a friend (who graciously reads my blog when nobody else really does) mentioned that she hadn't seen a post race blog entry. I think there are several reasons why my blog has been a cliff hanger stopping on the night before the race. Here are just some of my excuses for not following up...
1. I couldn't walk for at least three days. I intellectually realize this has nothing to do with sitting at a computer and typing, but honestly even that might have been painful after running 13.1 miles.
2. I had company in town. Blah, blah, blah. I had company in town when I wrote the pre-race blog and I write all the time when I have other obligations glaring down at me.
3. I'm not a marathon runner (even a half marathon). I didn't lose the weight I wanted to and I definitely didn't break any records so blogging about a less than gripping race experience seemed sad, at best.
4. I didn't really know what to write....until now.

My legs have recovered, I've come down from my runner's high and I can honestly say it was the most amazing experience I have ever had!! My fat ass (ok, I'm not supposed to use derogatory language towards myself so I will say "chubby") ran 13.1 miles without stopping and without dropping dead. I don't really care who you are....that is an accomplishment. I enjoyed every minute of it, miles 10-13 were very challenging, my knees hurt on and off, my play list on my iPod was rocking and I crossed that finish line with pride in my heart and sweat soaking my clothes. :) The physical strength it takes to run a marathon has nothing on the emotional strength is takes to do something like this. I never once thought about my leg pain, but I constantly processed my life, my past, my purpose and my love for my father (which really inspired me to run this race). I had mantras that helped me to push through and I cried at least three seperate times (thank God it was sunny so I had sunglasses on and nobody saw the tears).

I was so proud of myself for a few days, but realizing that actually my time was pretty much as slow as a turtle was a blow to my ego. I want to be one of those people who finish in record breaking time, weigh a 100 pounds and pretty much exude the athelete vibe. Pity party being over now, I realize that I will/or may not ever be that girl. I have weight to lose, goals to meet and challenges to conquer. I have self esteem to build and a whole life to shape ahead of me. What I do know is that my race was still a race. My finish time still recorded in history. My existince is relevant. I am relevant. And even if one person or nobody reads this blog, its my way of getting my voice out there. And everything we have to say is relevant.....even my words.

I can't wait for my next race!

I don't know why my face it so puffy! I'm used to it look chubby, but it was like when I stopped running all the blood races to my face. :) So thankful my dear friend Andrea was there to support me. The guy on the left is my dad....not idea what he is photographing, but gotta love him!