A handy tool

http://www.mapmyrun.com/

I've been doing a lot more "street running" instead of going to the track these days and although I love hitting the pavement, I absolutely hate not being able to know exactly how many miles I have completed. At the track, four laps equals a mile and eight laps equals two miles, etc, etc. On the street, your mind and legs can deceive you and what feels like a five mile jog can turn out to be only two and a half. You runners out there know what I mean. So, I found this handy little tool for mapping a run on local streets. You can enter in an address, click on streets in your route and instantly you know how long your run is, elevation and more! It is great and my 3.52 mile loop around my block is going to be a great part of my training for the half marathon!

New Hobby?

One of the goals I made for 2011 was to cultivate a new hobby. It isn't like I don't have anything that I spend my spare time doing, but I felt the need to try something new this year. Knitting was my "new hobby" back in 2003 and although I made some pretty nice scarves, I'm over it. I had a brief love affair with snowboarding in high school and my early college years, but frankly I just can't afford to hit the mountain these days. Since when are lift tickets $50?!?


Stamp collecting, scrap booking, Civil War reenactments and watercolor painting just don't excite me, but I'm finding that photography, yet again, does. I have my dear friend Chels to thank for my new spark of interest in a hobby I once had as a youngster. I took photography all of high school, entered a few contests that I didn't win and always really enjoyed the artistic side of seeing life through a camera. I have no interest in winning contests and I know I will never be as good as Chels and other photography gurus, but I sure had fun at my cousin's baby shower capturing moments and emotions. For now, I'm just glad to be able to check that goal off my list. Oh, and it doesn't hurt that I have access to my parents' sweet Nikon camera. I'm not allowed to use it out of the house without them being present, but I hope to gain their trust soon. :)

The shower invitation and beautiful white tulips

Darling Jenae and Addie hiding from the camera

Tulips!

Addie helping to open the presents for her new baby brother who is due in March

There but for the grace of God go I. Or maybe not??

Growing up, I heard the words "there but for the grace of God go I" often. It was one of the things my mom always said after watching a particularly horrible news cast depicting gang violence in the inner city, the treatment of women in cultures and religions so foreign to us and images of famine and genocide in third world countries. "Count your blessings you were born where and who you were" usually followed and to this day I am honestly and whole heartily thankful that I was born to a loving family, in an affluent neighborhood, in a country where basic freedoms are given to everyone and opportunities are limitless. I was truly blessed to be placed on the planet where and when I was. Or was I??

When something like cancer hits close to home, actually in your home, so many questions start to wear on your mind. Why my family? What next? What's the best course of treatment? After these initial questions, I began to think about cancer on a bigger scale. How does it start? How can we prevent it? What really causes it? All this wondering made my fingers do some typing on the internet and I started to look into cancer rates around the world. What I found was shocking. While depending on what cancer we are talking about, the U.S. is not always first on the list, but this country on a whole appears to be infected with cancer. The stats are alarming and shocking when you compare cancer incident and mortality rates with other countries around the world. What is equally, if not more, shocking is the correlation between industrialized, technologically advanced nations and cancer rates. The more money, power, education and innovation a country yields, the higher the probability that the citizens living there will be one day be taking a big dose of chemo.

Of course, we all know why. Nations like our own are all about convenience, technology, money and power. On a global and political scale this means far more than I care to delve into; after all this is a blog about health, fitness and cancer. :) But on a cancer related scale, it means that our surroundings are slowly poisoning and killing us. Our "food" is not "food" any longer, our air isn't clean and chemicals are constantly seeping into our lives from around every corner.

My dad doesn't eat fast food and isn't struggling with a pack a day habit. In fact, he is pretty darn healthy (was healthy?) with low blood pressure, low cholesterol and strong bones and muscles. He is active, smart and a non-drug user or alcoholic. However, just like all the members of our society, he is walking this earth and breathing the air above his head. He probably enjoys some take out pizza now and then and drinks a soda a few times a year. He has a cell phone and a laptop (similar to the one that I'm typing on right now which might be killing me) and uses bathroom cleaner when doing chores and wears regular toxic deodorant. He flies in planes, works long hours some weeks and didn't really know what high fructose corn syrup was until a couple of years ago. In short, he doesn't put himself at risk knowingly and leads a pretty healthy life, which doesn't seem to be enough.

In the U.S., our life expectancy is longer than most countries, however our cancer and obesity rates are through the roof. So, we are living long lives, but the lives are filled with illness. It is almost like the very same technology that can make a packaged meal last in our cupboards for years is the one that is offering our dying loved ones cutting age cancer treatment. We have invented the monster, but we also know how to fix it!

Do I want to trade my life for the life of someone in a village in Africa (one of the areas with the lowest rate of cancer) dealing with starvation, violence and death? Probably not. That is not my point. My point is as a nation we have so much to look at in order to better our lives. This entry is simply a "rant" and mostly stems from frustration and confusion. That is what blogging is all about, right? :) My plan of action......rid at least the fridge of dangerous things and then move out from there. Do I think we are all going to give up our cell phones and never use Windex or eat pizza? Nah. Or maybe so....

The Trapeze

On Monday, my dad had a spot on in his throat tested for cancer. The spot showed up in one of his scans and the procedure was a completely "just to be safe" procedure. However, with knots in my stomach, I waited the early part of the day to hear the results. Is this what life is like after cancer rearing its ugly head? A whole bunch of waiting? By afternoon, my mom and I received a call at home from dad saying that no disease had been found. Wow, another bullet dodged. When the phone rang I was snuggled up in a comfy chair in the living room losing myself in another poorly written novel that I so frequently find myself indulging in. I love good books, I like average books, but mostly I just love escaping in ANY book. :)

Okay, so if you had told me a year ago that my dad would be going in to have a "spot" in his throat checked for cancer after enduring two surgeries to rid his body of melanoma, I would have laughed at you. If you had told me a year ago that I would be not only sitting and reading in my childhood home when we got the good news, but actually living under my parents' roof at the ripe old age of 29, I would have thought you were crazy. Likewise, if you would have told me almost three years ago that the man I loved, my husband, would be picking up and leaving, kicking me out of the home I loved and getting another woman pregnant.....well I probably would have thought you had gone off your "meds".

My point is, nobody can really warn you of the changes that come with this crazy thing called life and even if they did, you would most likely turn the other cheek and not heed the warning. Let's face it, the prediction of things to come in life is about as reliable as a man keeping the toilet seat down in the bathroom; I wouldn't put money on it. So what does this mean for us? For human kind and for those who really like to know what is just around the corner? It means, we must learn to live in limbo.

Years ago my mother gave me an inspirational reading called "The Fear of Transformation", which was an expert from a book by Danaan Parry. I honestly don't remember what the occasion was. A broken heart, a tough time in college, a troubled friendship? The timing or the reason doesn't really hold relevance, but I've always been someone who has feared change. The passage used a trapeze as a metaphor for life; swinging between one bar or another and the space between is where you really transform your life (blah, blah, blah). Basically it was another polite, decently written way to say that life sometimes sucks so enjoy the ride! I can vividly remember reading it, taking it in and thinking it was kind of a crock of shit. I didn't (and sometimes still don't) want to "transform" and I would love a life where I just swung contently on one trapeze bar for eternity.

As a young woman, nothing I was going through could have compared to divorce, abandonement, lay-offs, heart break, death and cancer. Unfortunately, growing up involves enduring real tragedy and that is why I took a second look at the reading tonight. God bless the internet for tracking it down and God bless my mom for having the foresight that these words might mean more to me someday than they did when she first slid the paper across the kitchen counter in my direction. The full text is below if you care to check it out.

http://www.inspirationalarchive.com/texts/topics/transformation/feartran.shtml

What I've learned is that all of life's real tragedy and triumph happen in the so called "void" between bars on the trapeze. Nothing is actually gained or conquered on the bar!! Ok, unless you mean a great Coyote Ugly impression on an actually bar at a bar after one too many cocktails. :) Life thrives in the void; in the space between 'then' and 'there', and if we don't embrace that flight then we have missed all that life has to offer. Is a new bar coming my way someday? Sure. Is there light at the end of everyone's tunnel? Absolutely. But in the tunnel is where some of the best thinking, loving, changing and happiness occurs. I say, get strong in the void so that when that next bar swings your way you have the bicep strength to hold on. Of couse, inevidibly, there will always be another moment of mid-flight to enjoy.

2011

I have never really believed in resolutions. Each year since I can remember I always made my resolution about weight loss and fitness. Even at my thinnest my resolutions always sounded something like "lose weight", "get ready for bikini weather" or "no carbs". Like the vast majority of the general public, the first few weeks of January have always reflected my resolutions, but by early February I am skipping the gym or indulging in a hunk of bread. This inevitably leads to guilt and shame, which usually leads to more bread and an overwhelming urge to put the resolution off until the next year.

Rationally, the whole resolution idea makes no sense at all. Shouldn't we be doing good things for ourselves and good things for others all year long? Shouldn't we always be saving money, taking care of our bodies and having more fun? Why save the good stuff for just January? So this year I decided to make a goal list instead. By definition, a 'goal' is "the result or achievement toward which effort is directed." On the other hand, I found one definition that said a 'resolution' is "to make a firm resolution to do something". Even in their definitons the two are drastically different. I can make a firm resolution to do just about anything, but without any effort its pretty unlikely that there will be a positive result. My goals are actions that are tangible, trackable and they all lead to a better, more peaceful and healthy life!

2011 Goals

(in no particular order)

1. Run at least three times a week

* running not only has become a passion of mine, it also helps me to achieve my goals and lose weight. I want to make sure I fit it in even with a busy schedule at work. This year my dad is starting to run with me and we just did our first mile together last week. I can't wait to share this hobby with him!

2. No "night" eating

* Ok, so this is a hard one for me. I rarely eat breakfast (yes, I know its the most important meal of the day) and I'm a huge night eater. Working late a restaurant and getting home at 10pm doesn't help. My goal is to drastically reduce this bad habit and to have healthy choices in the kitchen if I absolutely have to have a snack before bed. Wish me luck.

3. Join a new club/meet new people

* this one is pretty self explanatory. I don't get out enough in social settings (not the bars) and meet new people. I would like to meet people with common interests and I really don't want to die alone. :) I'm not talking about a dating club, but simply something fun, low key and low pressure to meet new people and have fun! Any suggestions?

4. Read more books

* I have a library card and plan on using the heck out of it this year. Perhaps a book club can take care of this goal and goal 3....

5. Travel

* this is probably the hardest goal simply because I am not financially able to travel at this time. However, I can at least start thinking about it, saving money and researching where to go. South America is on the top of my list followed by Italy.

6. Send out resumes/consider grad school

* this goal will hopefully result in a career or a life plan. I've been laid off twice in one year and my current job, although fun, is not paying the bills or challenging my mind. I will continue to job hunt with gusto and consider maybe furthering my education.

7. Explore nearby places

* I think of this goal as traveling on a small scale. I've lived in the Northwest my whole life (minus 6 months in CA post divorce) and there are literally dozens of places I have never been. Many are day trips with little cost besides gas. The Olympics, San Juans and some spots on the Penisula are on my list.

8. Find one new hobby

* although similar to joining a club, this goal is just for personal satisfaction and not for my social life. I have no idea what my new hobby might be, but I'm excited to find out!

9. Nourish my body

* I love the way this goal is phrased. It isn't about losing weight or looking great for my Vegas vacation in March (although I hope that is a result). It is simply about nourishing the body God gave me and taking care of it the best way I can.

10. Limit alcohol

* hehe. I love my red wine and a cold beer while watching football. I love going out with friends or sitting with a good book and a good cabernet. However, I would like to cut back this year both for health reasons, weight loss and basically because it can be really hard on the checkbook!

Cheers to 2011 and Happy New Year!!!!

You are what you eat

I've always had an interest in food and nutrition and actually majored in it for a semester in college (I had a total of five declared majors before landing on teaching...sigh). I love gardens, I love to cook and I like learning about the natural goodness that food can bring to our bodies, minds and our lives.

I can't say with all honestly that I always use my knowledge about food and my common sense on a daily basis. I would probably be able to lose these last stubborn 15 pounds if I did. :) However, lately I have a new vested interest, possibly a healthy obsession, when it comes to nutrition and the healing properties of foods and herbs. There's no big surprise that it corresponded with my dad's diagnosis and now it has kind of become a family hobby and something that we all have as a common interest. Surfing the web and perusing nutrition and cook books is something we all do more of and searching for the best, cancer fighting/preventing ingredients has taken center stage. No sugar, no preservatives, healthy fats and anti-angiogenic foods are just some of the things we consider before stocking the fridge.

My dear friend Brooke has taught me much of what I know and what I refer to when it comes to nutrition and I'm so thankful for the research and help she has provided me in the last couple of months. She is my guru in sooo many ways and I take everything she tells me as scripture. My dad and I tried one of her delicious recipes tonight from her amazing blog (http://www.veggieandlove.blogspot.com/) and we loved it!!! Ginger tea sounds so simple and it really truly is, but the taste is nothing but. It is spicy and soothing and it just tastes like pure goodness! I can't wait to try more of her recipes and to delve even more into the world of healing foods. After all, you are what you eat.

Check out the recipe on Brooke's blog!!!

If you buy these, you will run....

Hands down, these are the most comf0rtable running shoes I have ever owned!! My parents got them for me for Christmas and today was the first day I actually laced them up and hit the track. It was a little like running on clouds and I swear they helped me shave some time off my mile. I've never been the kind of person to invest lots of money into my hobby of running, but I can honestly say that these shoes were worth the extra pennies. A hint.....they are cheaper on www.zappos.com and you don't have to pay shipping and handling. :)